The Kardashian clan doesn’t have anything on Bibi, the giant turtle
Bibi is a 115 year old giant turtle who is living the high life at the Klagenfurt Zoo in Austria….she and her husband turtle, Poldi, have been at Klagenfurt for thirty six years, having relocated across the border from a zoo in Basel, Switzerland almost four decades ago
Bibi and Poldi have been together for almost all of their centennial years, living together in wedded bliss….but this past year Bibi decided she wanted out of the marriage and she has isolated herself from Poldi’s embrace, going so far as to bite off a chunk of his shell in one particularly nasty spat
Worried zoo staff have tried everything to spark up Bibi’s interest in Poldi, even feeding her Chinese herbs to boost her libido….nothing has worked so far and it looks like Bibi is intent on splitting the dishes
All attempts at reconciliation have failed and it’s been rumored that Bibi is trying to get the attention of Gloria Allred, famed attorney to wronged women….if Gloria gets a good settlement, look for Bibi to shed a few of her 70 pounds, get herself a mani-pedi and a profile on Match.com
We don’t doubt that Poldi will get back into the dating game himself….a mature gentleman with a European accent is bound to stir up a posse of younger women who will consider him a good catch!